hao hao, audrey, ren ren & mi...
ha. 2dae. damn sian, d/l maple patch wif much difficulty. wa, 122Mb lor, 1st time yesterday try auto patch, d/l until 22mb den end up file corrupt, den aborted. damn pissed wif internet, thinkin is internet's fault, cursed my misfortune...(f5) 2nd time tried manual patch d/l, d/l 1r2way den it said d/l complete. i looked at e size of e file: huh?! 66.2mb? sth's wrong ther, i tink. humph. expected. file corrupt again. wa, almost gave up le, dun care 4 e time bein, go 4 dota first den later zai patch ba.
played 1 game of dota. wa, i still tt noob man, killed onli abt 7 la... supposed to kill at least 13 de leh..(at least is my target). hmm... man man lai, no hurry, u can do it de! finished(of cos wif a victory la) den go try 1 last time d/l manual patch, better succeed, or i wud hab to borrow from my frenz le. heng ar, i d/l finish le, checked. 122mb. good. patch success. can play le! yeah! wow, aqua road out in maple, at first dunno how to go, den realised tt from e bottom of orbis tower b1, all water.. soooo coooooollll man! den hor jumpin is like flash jump la, can jump in e middle of water leh, meanin from bottom u can jus keep pressin jump jump jump, den u jus rocket upwards... cool man! goin up is much easier than goin down la... of cos, took quite a number of screenshots of mi tourin e aqua road... hmm.. i like tt..
meanwhile, hao hao asked mi if i wan to go movie tmr. hmm.. i c... since nth to do tmr, ok lor, go. decided like this. tmr 1pm dhoby ghaut. yawnz... tired... get a sleep, ready 4 tmr... somehow i jus cant feel lyk sleepin... missed 0622... haix... if onli i chose NY s 1st choice... a great chance to b back wif dem again lor... but too late.. not fated wif dem..
zzz. today woke up. tried maplin again. hmm, so feww ppl online, i mean e servers very few ppl online. could it b e patch prob, such tt ppl kip havin e same prob s i do yesterday? hahas, i was thinkin tt i could own e whole map cos fewer ppl r fightin wif mi over lanes, but little did i realise tt my internet connection was realli got prob le, maple laggin LIKE SIAO la!!! wth, pissed mi, kip gettin ksed by even e noobest warriors... wa lau, damned e thief's reputation sia... sry all thieves of maplestory...
yawnz. tired. went 4 a nap at 11, but ended up e same scenario s yesterday nite. haix... uneasy sleep. b4 i knew it, w800 rang its alarm liao... got myself ready, den zao to dhoby ghaut le. at least felt a little excited, havin to c some of my 0622s again, if not all. so few ppl goin la.. but at least got some response la. reach ther le, havin hao hao to surprise mi from behind... den we both met audrey @ e gate, us downstair of PS. hmm.. hao hao was expectin others lyk chin ping, cally to come, cos thy say mayb, den mayb means yes to him lol. but audrey immediately perished tt tot of his when she confirmed wif thy 2 tt thy didnt even say mayb la, much less agree. lol. hao hao looked 'shocked'. so funny, is facial expression. haix.. now we waitin for ren ren, whilst mi n hao hao tokin abt...maple?? oh. he stopped playin liao la, den we try to compare maple of last time n now in many aspects, includin price, items, scrollin... etc etc.
ok. ren ren come liao. onli we 4. but we expectin to mit michie in here s well, since she comin to PS later after her pool. went up to 7th flr, saw a long long LONG queue for tix, wa lau, we tink jus go down eat first la, since mi, hao hao n ren ren hungry. audrey? she eaten. psk. haha. got into long john, ordered e new pamper mi meal. WA LAU, 6 C-O-N-S-E-C-U-T-I-V-E days eatin junk food... feelin a bit sick le. saturday. 1 big mac, 3 fillets, some french fries. tt's stretchin my stomach... sunday. burger king. bk big fish. hmm.. not a lot, but still junk fd rite? monday. mac. big mac meal upsize plus mcchicken. oh, tt's normal meal 4 mi. tuesday. mac again. haiyo, eat wif olk n wil ma, wif wc watchin us eat, chattin abt wil's target, sher min.. told us abt his experience in his triangle relationship: sher min, wayne n him. haha. wayne. now makin all aj ppl dun lyk him le.. spreadin to NY fast, mainly via gerald.. hahaz. wednesday. got into mac wif my sis. gobbled up 2 fillets n mcnugget meal.. not tt full, but somehow make mi cant eat anymore... oh shyt, i was thinkin of e supersize mi film la, saw tt poor guy eat mac till he almost paid his life for it.. i scared i tio same case s him... den 2dae still hab to continue... haix...
got to 7th floor cinema entrance again, buy tix. so long queue, lucki audrey saw her fren in e q, den ask her help us book lor... play cheat, haha. booked e dorm 4.30 de, still got lots of time, so we go window shoppin lor... so sian, i dunno how to say la, but i feel window shoppin in here is very borin... but jus to kill time, folo dem lor. hao hao bot himself a top, which he wore it immediately s his current one look so... u noe la. den we jus go up n down window shoppin, den met michie, n we jus go together. he bot another pair of slippers, for his fren s bdae present i tink. haix... killed abt 1r1r4 hr, thy go food court tok chat idle eat drink n i jus go arcade play abt lor. u shud noe la. tried my hands on time crisis 3, died terribly, somehow i tried to reload by steppin on e pedal but i dun seem to noe how. not jus tap, make sure it joes fully down, dumb! haah. wasted $1. den rest $4 on daytona la. warmed up wif advance, of cos get 1st la, play so long le dun get 1st very xia suay leh. 2nd one wanted to play expert, but sum dunnohu hor jus join in n compete wif mi a beginner course.. wtf. aiya, anyhow play, almost won tt 'noob'. haha. den 4 e nxt 2 games on expert. 1st 1 hor wa lau, sibei pissed man, kip hittin cars, lost my balance, ended up zham wall or skid into grass. sian la, lost touch le, den 2nd 1 not too bad. i sense many ppl watchin hor, i try playin it decently, more seriously. ha, at least got both perfect laps, yeah. ok la, bo $$ liao, go back down food court join dem la.
ok its abt time le. saw michie off to e mrt stn(huh? she lyk dunno how to go mrt stn, den how she come here??? wth...) den we go up to e cinema le. watch the dorm. it's supposed to b a scary movie, but hor i heard more laughter than 'screams'(horror)... in e middle of movie, when scary part comes up it's not e part tt scared mi; it was some dunno bitchy screams from some bitch at e back. wth, piercin screams into e whole cinema, sent chills down my spine, n we ended up laufin at bitchy screams instead of gettin scared out of our tits. lol. of cos there r some funny parts la, but generally is a touchin story ba, at least in e end. so.. e movie. first half is scary part, later half is touchin part, den spiced up by some funny parts... 3 emotions rotatin in my heart.
brrr... so cold, got out of e hall. its... around 6.40 liao; time 4 dinner. haix... almost broke, left $4. heng ar, now is food court, no more junk food. eeeeww, mix veg rice, 3.50, but looks much more than hao hao's ban mian. haha, took longer than mi, more ex, so hard to get into ur mouth(hot!) yet not s much s mine... $5 is not worth it, hao hao! sit, eat, tok, chat, idle, stone(4 mi n hao hao) for lyk some 1hr, saw suren! he saw us too, chat a little wif him b4 he left wif his OG, den we hab to say gdbye le... sob sob.. hope to cya again in e muggers club....
so tired. but i m ready for bball tmr. now on dis com, met up wif wil online, and he sent mi e v6.27 AI map he got from raymond. yeah! now can train more of dota la, wif e new ai map, less hassle, more convenience s compared to tt v4b map, cant even c e items... ok la, tt's all for now, i bloggin again tmr haha ;)
My thoughts of the day: men and women are not equals; the are quits.
Monday, March 13, 2006
0622 goes ice-skating!!!
haix.. another monday. usually mondays r vry sian de, havin to face e whole week of tasks... seems to make u busy. sian, ppl say tt monday if u dun hav e momentum to carry on e monday, e rest of e week will b in inertia la.. tt's wad happen to mi lor... mondays wu jin da cai, den 4 e rest of e wk oso end up slackin, no drive to continue... tts y. heng ar, 2dae @ least got some drive, cos got another 0622 outin!! yeah, 0622 wan sui!
hair so messy le, time 4 a haircut. e most dissappointed part of my appearance is act. my hair lor, looks like some nerd hair, hair criss-X each other, makin it look very weird, or ugly, i shud say. whew, a haircut might b able to boost my confidence, imagining dose strands of 'black sheep' bein snipped off... tt might make my imagination more encouragin(dunno nvr mind... anyhow write de)... anyways, $8 4 a haircut, tt's quite... normal price 4 a haircut, but hor, c my frenz all go deir auntie haus cut FREE OF CHARGE, make mi so envious.. if onli i got such an aunt hu noe how to cut hair, livin near my haus...
back to maple. yesterday finally lvl up le, but hor i still depressed over my failed 60% cape str scroll!!! wa lau, 1st 60% scrollin is supposed to b perfect la, 98% success rate u noe!!! yet i fail... wa, sibei suay la.. shudnt hab tried... then i already sense tt it will fail le, yet my ovrconfidence pushed mi to jus drag e stoopid scroll to e cape la... sian, lucki i got black magic cape backup la, if not i goin to cry le...
anxious abt e outin. we r goin ice skatin @ jurong -> 2dae. u noe la. all of us dunno, xcept gerald, renjie got go b4 la. oh shyt, means.. e rest all dunno? omg, i wanna c how we goin to land our hands n butts FLAT on e ice la... but it was s if i was longin very very VERY much 4 tt moment... ok la, maple till 12.40+, den 1r2 lunch 1r2 maple, den maple another 30 min, den zao to jurong -> le.
jus s i reach marsiling mrt stn, i go up e platform, i called gerald, cos i received 2 miss calls frm him leh, mus b sth urgent... call him ba. wa, it shocked mi. hao hao cant find his long pants!! initially i dunno nid to wear long pants de, but i clever, c tt in ice skatin mus wear long pants den i brin 1 in my bag, while wearin e shorter pant. wa sian, i pespirin liao, i dunwan to liu han any more le, aiya, ask my sis brin to mrt stn lor. haha, act dua...
ok. waited 10 mins 4 my sis to come wif a bag containin e pants(jeans actually). ok, thx sia, den go up le. heng, jus nice, gerald is pn e nxt traiN! ok, go mit up wif min @ e 1st cabin he was seated @. den we go jurong -> together, pnli to realise tt tt was e 1st, 1st time he was passin thru marsiling to jurong east...?!?! omg, he was l yk spent his whole life in ang mo kio, dint get to Xplore other places s well.. sad... find 1 time i take him go round s'pore... lol.
reach le, found no sign of 0622s. we tot we still early(actually e specified time is 2pm, we reach @ 2.20, still tink we earli?!?!?????) den we go popular walk c walk c lor, browsin thru a level txt ba. gerald was 'frantically' searchin 4 tys, which r NOT goin 2 b published frm nxt yr onwards he said. haix... betta grab now, or it will b too late.
out of popular le, onli to realise tt thy r mitin @ e shoppin centre instead of e mrt stn. chey, we tot is still earli, den waste deir time some more... sry ar. reach there, saw all in long pants, onli mi in short one, felt awkward. stay there zuo bo 4 quite a while, den go up 4 ice skatin le. wa sei, so many ppl, withdraw. how to play la??? we felt 'demoralised' by e no of ppl squeezin in tt small area, imagin we go in, no space to skate, tt wud a waste of time & $$ lor. stirred our final decisions, den we try make up our minds, goin to e kbox there, kpoool oso, wonderin if we shud change plans. den some argued, since come here le might s well go skate, if not come here no use... ok lor, 'enlightened' by deir words, go skate ba.
stoned @ e entrance there 4, waitin 4 dose latecomers: hao hao, audrey, wing yan, cally. haix... if onli thy could come earlier.... nvm, we all try shua dem, put tt 'du lan' face when thy come, den make dem feel sry... haha. doh onli some of us realli foloed instructions it worked sumhow... i can feel tt thy r sry 4 bein late... haha. ok la, i 4give dem, lets pay $$ go in la, dun waste time le. each paid $11.50, den got our equips, mi n hao hao go change to long pants, den wore our skates, put on our gloves n ready to go.
e 1st step i got in: wa, so slippery! nvm, dun b afraid, my right leg is slidin along e ice le, my other foot in safe grip on e floor. good. placed my other foot onto e ice, n there i go. tried to familarise myself wif e icy surface, tried movin slowly at first. dare not take big steps, in case i lose my balance n fall flat on my butt. haha. ok. i got used to e skate, now can try skatin across e ice. 1st hr, i went damn slow man, hab to hold to others to keep myself in balance. den s i get to get myself used to e skate, i tried goin faster, mostly successful, but e difficult part is tryin to slow down. quite a few no. of failed atempts, i almost fell. heng ar, i tried to balance, of cos failed a few times lor.
1st time. i skates @ normal spd. tried to stop, c e others use dunno wad spin method to stop, i try, den lost balance n 'toppled'. luckily landed on my hand, not so serious. e 1st time i felt my hands on e ice: wa~!! so freezin cold man! den e water jus immediately soaked into my glove.. brr... my hands... felt e wrath of how many kj of potential energy ar...
2nd time. i tried goin faster. den i lost balance n fell. jus liddat. seems like a fast process, but hor is 'torturin'man!!! like doin some ballet, balancing on 1 leg, swayin front n back, tryin very hard to maintain upright positioin but to no avail.. haix. 2nd time. hand on e grd again.. e coldness bit mi again...
3rd time. wa, dis time is my butt tt was 'bestowed' wif e biting sensation. wa, i did e same thing s e 2nd 1, tryin to acclerate, den lande don e X part of my leg, den 1 leg go forward 1 leg stopped.. wa, no wonder la.. dis time my hand can do nth abt it.. cos i landed butt first, my hand in front, not in time to shift to e back to 'ding'...
4th time. dis 1 not exactly my fault la, ended up in a collision... some dunno hu ar, chiong too fast, sped towards mi, den tried to stop, i try to acclerate, but hor, i lost balance AGAIn, fell. den i block his way, den he fell oso. haha, seems my fault, but is he hu make mi kancheong, make mi acclerate, den ended up liddat lor... lol
5th time. again, accleration prob. tried to stop after gaining spd, den fail of cos la, i dun even noe how to brake, tts y la. hand first, wa, feelin very cold n numb liaoz... my glove so damn wet....
6th time. hha, dis time not onli i fall. thy all playin chain la, skatin in a single file across e ice, i wan join dem, i wen n hold henry by his shoulder. den i LOST BALANCE AGAIN. hah, i try to pull henry to keep my balance, den henry got unstable, did e same thing s mi on wing yan in front of him, hha, tt's it. all 3 of us fell down, flat on e grd... shirt included 4 wing yan i tink.. lol. sry ar, noobs r liddat... pullin others dwn.. felt sad...
7th time. aiya, same thing. y ar, so much experience le, still wun learn?? tt's a slow learner mi lor. i try to jus stay stationary, den suddenly i hab e urge to jus.. dunno spin or back skate or wad de, i move a bit, eh, felt awkward, n e nxt nanosecond i felt myself losin balance again. tt's it. down i go... glove feedin on e water again...
wa, tt's quite an experience 4 mi. i c gerald skatin so gracefully, s if so easy liddat, so fast, so relaxed... i wan! den i c e rest ar, lyk ok la, learnin quite ok, henry goin e 2nd fastest, den i 1 of e slowest lor. accidents r almst common, in fact almost a rule inside. haha, some pros try to learn e immediate brake by jus slantin in opp direction of deir movement, ended up losin balance, den fell or jus ram against e barrier. haha. on avg evry 1 min got 2 accidents, ppl fallin onto e grd, sometimes is chain effect ar... i oso made ppl fall haha, sry pals ;p
oh ya, got 1 very serious accident man! doh not sent to hospital(mean not tt serious la), but hor it realli scard e tits outta mi. mi n wing yan witnessed tt, n wing yan is oso 1 of e 'casualties' la.. ok. wing yan in front of mi skatin. den on our left got 2 gals skatin oso. den suddenly, 1 dunno hu jus skated past her(i duno wad he did to her), den she jus lost balance. n flipped over. hit HEAD FIRST onto e ice WITH A LOUD 'THUD'. den e guy ar, made another at his right lose balance, den e 2nd guy jus grabbed wing yan hu is bside him to gain balance. of cos he fail la; den crashed into a couple skatin very slowly, den e gal n him jus fell.. wow, t seems a long chain effect. wa, lucki 4 wing yan unoe!! she cud hav jus lost balance n jus fell, heng she maintain balance sia. den e gal hu's head jus banged onto e icy floor... omg, i felyt sry 4 her.. she was like stoned 4 abt quite a moment, as if unconscious, i so damn scared sia, heng she jus looked up, cryin, den scolded, cursed @ e guy hu banged onto her. A quarrel started. whew... close shave 4 wing ya. reassured her if she realli allrite.. she was oso shocked, pitied e gal.. she was so sry 4 her ha... walau, imagin e impact on her head la, "WITH A LOUD THUD".. shd b damn serious la.... sobz...
ok la, enuf of sad tings le. lets continue play. our foot r so damn pain liao la, ankles goin to fracture, fallin tt time even tio toe cramps(at least 4 mi) wa lau, but we still enjoyed.. den hao hao n audrey r left alone... AS A COUPLE i mean, thy r holdin hands together, skatin, supportin each other when thy lost balance, ohoh, some unusual kind of relationship is goin to b nurtured btwn dem... haha, we felt happy 4 dem oso... finally hao hao got himself in a relationship...
ended @ 6 plus, close le. changed back into my shorts, same s hao hao, evry1 complainin abt de pain in deir legs... doh i tink is worth it.. ok la, enuf of complains. lets go 4 dinner ba. henry n cong'er said deir mother got cook, thy go back eat. now ma.. left wei ting, chin ping, audrey, hao hao, gerald, renjie, michie, wing yan, cally n mi. good. decided to go IMM 4 dinner.
we reached e shuttle bus area. ooh, michie not feelin well, we jopkinly suggested renjie piggyback her ba(doh we hope he WILL do tt). aiya, bus so long nvr come, i jus walk there lor, expectin e others to take bus. y, thy foloed mi! thy walked! omg, i didn mean tt... not wad thy think... i jus wanted.. to lessen e pain in my ankle by walkin.. n thy jus folo mi bhind after i walked 1r2way to e IMM... make mi feel so wei qu dem... haix...
ok la, i reach IMM le, thru e other door(main entrance blocked due to dunno wad construction). waited 4 dem, n thy reached mi wif much difficulty i guess. den michie n audrey leg tired, jus sat @ a corner, foloed by wing yan. haix... my legs r more painful than urs la, i didnt sit...i endure, y cant u all? ... nvm la. gals ma, cant blame dem. ok. cant decide on wad to hav? good. mi n gerald make e final say. we jus decided on mac(which we concurr wif each other) den zao le. haha, havin e rest to folo us to mac lor.. c, we so decisive, not lyk dem... haix. ordered a big mac meal, upsize den plus a mchicken, same 4 hao hao, xcept tt his drink is milo. gerald jus ordered a mcspicy, upsized. e rest all order small meals, small fries, fillets all dese. ha, gobbled down evrything, listenin to gerald, chin ping n cally's conversation.. i realli love hearin conversations man! haha. finish le, gerald dun feel ez stayin at mac, sittin makes us feel uncomfortable(of cos ma, jus had a meal, mus stand up, walk to ease urself ma!) ok, so lame, think of wadeva shyt excuses to excuse ourselves out of mac. den we jus went outside IMM, chatted.. thy all askin mi wan to go study wif dem... at NY??? omg, no way, tt's far man, mus take train n bus somemore la!! wa liao, but hor 4 A level sake, i might reconsider.
chatted 4 abt 45 mins, REJECTIN all calls from wei ting, renjie n wing yan, even not replyin smses... enjoyin e quietness in e surroundins.. tt's all we wanted.. a quiet surroundin makes u feel more at peace. arghhh... we lyk t feelin. ok le, enjoyed enuf of our 'peace' le, time to report back to dem. got back to dem, den jus go home liao. wa sei, dose takin east west line de, so qiao ar, both couples, hao hao & audrey, renjie & michie, goin in pairs @ e front, leavin e rest of us walkin slowly b-hind. haha. shh... let dem enjoy deir '2-men world'(er ren shi jie) lol.
it was all so quiet. i mean, for mi. i kept mum all e way to e stn(xcept a bit of tok wif wei ting). haix.. sumhow i feel 0622 is breakin more n more apart.. y? i dun wan!!! pls, pls let 0622 b united again! we went our seperate ways; e 2 couples went off le, leavin e rest of us bhind. den we jus take e mrt back. mi? e 1st 1 to get off e train. marsiling. said a painful 'goodbye' to dem, n... haix... sobz... i wanna take another look at u guyz again...
so tired.. but i like e feelin wif 0622. how i wish 0622 will alwae remain s it is, nvr to b broken apart into pieces by tt cruel JAE... but tt's fate.. fate.. but i noe 0622 will nvr b apart in our minds...
My thought of the day: everyone has a psychic power in his/her mind. it depends on whether one has e ability to unlock and use it. our potential is one of the factors that is able to unlock a bit of e psychic powers, thay's why we r sometimes able to 'see' e future in our dreams.
I'mma Touch the Sky!
10:28 PM
Friday, March 10, 2006
FATE. that's it.
2dae. dunno wad happened to my brain. felt so pain... den kept dreamin of e appeals... e calls to my w800.. my anxiety potrayed all e time, on e bus, at school, etc etc etc... seemed s if my brain used too much energy on dese imaginary stuff... den on e other side of my brain kept tellin mi not to think abt it le... walau. conflicts btwn both sides of my brain. no wonder i felt like it was a nightmare goin on. haix....
not a peaceful slp thru e nite. my brains r at its peak of activity when thy r supposed to rest; all brain cells somemore la!!! no wonder i feel like so tired, wantin to get up asap, but to no avail. my brain cells all busy 'arguin' abt e appeal dream, not givin a damn to my 'commands'. sobz... felt so mentally terrible...
finally. my brain cells had enuf le. i finally woke up. my mind still thinkin abt e dream abt e appeal la... i still in my dreamland while awake: is tt wad thy called daydream? mayb. i kept askin myself to stop tinkin abt it le, but hor anxiety drowned my thought to STOP IT. half conscious, i lay on my bed, thinkin abt e appeal n tryin to get my brain cells to rest abit... until 7am when e w800 rang. ok. time 4 e day.
tried to occupy my tots wif actions; kept myself active e 1st thing in e morning. refresh myself, served myself wif 3 slices of bread.. n ready 4 sch. s usual. jus go dwn e slope to e stop, catch e bus to int. n den wok pas causeway pt, den civic centre, den past e few blks of flat, past e t-junction, n there i m in IJ. haix... woked abit too slowly... dunwan to pespire too much... lol. or isit tt i m too tired, wastin too much energy thinkin abt e appeal thinggy tt i saved not enuf energy 4 wokin? dunno la.
e same borin routine: lectures, lectures, lectures. 1st 1 is chem, dunno wth la, wad got into my ears is lyk some foreign language; i CANT understand anythin!!! oh shyt, den i realise tt this is IJ; deir syllabus diff from ny de... aiyo.. i mus catch up within tt 1 wk of break or els i will die in here lor! sian, too used to ny le, not used to IJ lecturers' way of tokin la... cant seem to absorb anythin from deir lectures... haix... i tink i hab to depend on myself le. so... i tink from nxt term onward, get necessary materials, den chiong all e way thru dose reference bks lor...
nxt is wad.. process skills lecture or wad de. wow, andrew pereira is e lecturer. oh, he last time in cat high de ma, hahaz, taut our batch de, 4-2, 4-6 n 4-10. if he ever c any1 from his class de, den good lor. aiyo. i got no pen, cant take dwn notes, got a whole book of foolscap on my table oso no use... sian bo, he wan us to copy dwn notes i jus hab to pretend lor, lucki i got a pencil(of cos no lead la, if not i wud b REALLI copyin dwn liao) den pretend to copy when my paper is BLANK.
whew... break. got dwn to e canteen, dunno y ate 3 slice of bread still so hungry, got myself another 2 fidh burger n 'gobbled' both dwn. ahhh, tasted like heaven! as if i so many days nvr eat le. this may b a symptom of depression, i m afraid. ppl like mi r bound to hav depression de ma, under such high mental pressure... lol. den i UNKNOWINGLY ponned another process skill lecture continued after e break... lol. aiya, might s well pon e whole lecture la, no pt dashin in, interruptin e whole lesson, apologisin to e whole 80+ ppl sayin 'i late. sry.' aiya, jus go slack wif nelson ba. took a quick rest in e canteen, head down on e table, ... ... zzZ... ...
11.40am. time for physics lecture. sian bo, it's goin to b another 'huh?' period for mi le. again, another 'foreign' language, but not so 'mo sheng' la, since i alreadi knew abt e topic, cos taut in NY ma!! heng ar, at least i can still understand abit. all e while i was havin my hands on my fon, ... anxious abt e appeals.. wonderin if it will jus vibrate wif e NY office no. on it e nxt second... my heartbt acclerated... adrealin rush thru mi... heat shot up to my face... in e middle of e lecture. vibrations from e fon. OH, tt 'nan yi xing rong' anxiety engulfed mi. my 1st reaction: answer e fon. duncare hu call la. jus answer. ONLI to realise: X no. chey, make mi 'jin zhang' 4 nth sia. back to lecture la.
12.40pm. lecture ended. timing jus nice, e lecturer jus abt to say.. 'u r dismissed.' den got another round of vibration on my fon le. dis time not tt long; mus b a msg. took it out, oh! from gerald. he informed mi abt e last chance 4 appeal 2dae.. of cos i noe LA!!! aiya, jus go bac to NY c wad i can do lor, since he said got interview can tok to Mr quek or wad de. rushed to school, surprised to b able to take e train to NY 1 MORE TIME. took bus 135, reach e bus stop le, met henry, he was SHOCKED to c mi in IJ uni. haix... tok wif him a while ba. ji dan, he 'cursin' mi 4 buyin IJ uni so earli, as if not givin NY any chance le. he was 'angry?' wif mi for bein such a 'betrayer', wearin some other jc uni into NY, look like a traitor la. aiya, no choice, parent wan mi to buy, den dunwanna go home change again, jus come str8 from IJ lor, tts y didnt change. aiya, tok enuf le la, ppl waitin 4 mi, jus bidded him goodbye lor.
IN HOT SWEAT. i reached NY. haix.. dis time realli felt lyk an outsider le. saw ny de comin out of e gate ar, i feel so foreign to e place i once belonged to. haix... sad case... there is still 0.1% of hope makin dis place mine... but is decreasin at a remarkable rate... got into e canteen tryin to locate my 0622s, found no one, jus fill up my water bottle den zao to e general office le, hopin to c chin ping there. ya, she said she oso wan to appeal back, she cannot stand aj le!!! more likely she cant bear to leave us ba! coming back jus to b wif us? hmm. she shud make decisions tt r best 4 herself ma, y come so indecisive? haix... ur choices r e best la, so jus choose wif feelings!! found no 0622 there, jus call gerald to locate him la. OH. canteen there. the oishii stall (12) there la, i missed tt area. jus chiong there onli to c audrey, gerald, wei ting, chin ping, renjie, michelle & cally there(did i miss any1 els?) haix, thy so surprised 2 c mi in IJ uni, some said i look grown up s comapred to tt cat high uni. lol.
zuo bo in e canteen, e rest zao le, leavin mi, cp, renjie n weiting b-hind tokin abt jc. meanwhile waiting 4 my fon to jus vibrate... my hope r reduced to almost 0 le... thinkin wad shud i do in IJ... sobz... i wanted to b back, but onli to realise tt i onli hab... 13pts?!?! omg, sian la, i shud hav put NY s 1st choice, den my chances of tio call r almost X10 le la... wth, jus bcos i put aj for fun it destroyed my 2yrs... wa, if onli time could reverse to 3wks ago where i can still change my choices... too late. i DESTROYED myself.
got consolation from cp, renjie, weiting n ms eunice ng, my NY physic tutor. sobz.. i almost cryin, but tried very hard to keep myself in s normal state s possible.. almost at my most 'bottom' part of my life... cos i destroyed 1r2 of my future. nvm. i shud take thing in gd stride. com'on, u can take it de, duncare in wich jc, s long s u can survive there can le, 2 yrs is enuf le, 2 yrs, it will zoom past as if in 1 day liddat, jus go on s normal. u can do it! yes, i can do it!
cooled myself down, den time to go le. i made e decision le: gave up on NY. i could jus go in appeal, but somehow i tink i wun feel very happy even if i really got in; it seemed meaningless if i stayed. 1 reason is for my dear 0622s, but y is tt e onli reason tt struck my heart to do so? no way. ppl mite say tt reasons r not always required 4 you to do sth, ya, sumhow my feelin tells mi tt not to appeal back to ny is jus a better choice. imagin wastin much of your efforts tryin very hard to get back... onli to realise to no avail, tt wud b most pathetic.
ya. might s well go back home n hav a good sleep. i m exhausted. mentally tired. i felt weak in my brain. no wonder i felt giddy jus after a few mins of bus 135 ride. i m mentally very very weakthen; i will jus break down anytime. i tried to endure. till i get home. den i will jus give my cells a REALLI good rest... sian, i dunwan to take mrt, jus took 135 str8 to e in. den switch to 169. walau, e bus lyk no aircon liddat la, all air con spoil, feelin damn stuffy in there!!! shyt, lucki found a seat where e aircon is 1 of e strongest(actually not tt 'strong' lor) den jus relax, relax, ... omg, cant even relax.. e minute i got myself 'unconscious', sth realli bad happened; i drooled.. wah, so embarrassin... quickly sucked it back b4 it realli dripped onto my poor IJ uni... too late. haix... tired is liddat de ma, cant blame mi...
in e end provided myself wif a tirin trip back to woodland. looked @ my watch. 'accordin to my rolex watch, time now is 16:48:23.' haix, took out my fon, no reply. ok. tt's it, no more NY. back to IJ. all hope is lost.(game over pls insert 1 coin..?) lol. laufin @ my stupidity, wastin my time, effort, energy jus to go NY do nth.. tt's stoopid. argh...... finally reached home after a tirin day.. took off my shoes, changed into home clothes WITHOUT SHOWERIN, den slapped myself onto e mattress n went zzZZ...... whew... so comfy.. dun tink of anythin.. jus relax.. off to dreamland u go...(eh? no dream for mi. ohya, my brain cells r so damn tired to make a dream 4 ya)
at least replenished 1r2 of my energy by 7pm, onli to realise i was lyin on e opp side of my initial slpin position. unknowinly i jus flipped over to e other side while i was slping.... haaaahhh... at least i feelin MUCH MUCH better than jus now le... thx to e nap.
yay!!! my father brot back e repaired cpu, after 2 wks of mainenance(hmm.. isnt it abit long?) finally no more fightin of coms btwn sis n mi le. time to set up broadband on e com le. wa, so pissed.. foloed e steps in mind still cant get it rite!!! n e instruction bk said got installation of software but in dis com ... eh? NO HAB LEH!!! wth, sth's wrong man!!! i tried to figure out but cannot leh, no choice la, give it a last chance, restarted e com, do it all ovr again. eh? miraculously, it worked even without e software installation!!! omg.
another bad case happened to my maple. haix.. think too much abt 2day le, took no notice of e sell n recharge icons on e stars... in e end... NPCed all my stars?!?! wa, tt's stoopid, i was cursin myself... wa, so careless, 1 wolbi, 4 kumbis, 1 icicles.. eh add up to 1M leh!!! wa lau, where to find it again??? shyt, somemore tt's my fren de la!! how to jiao dai to him??? how to account 4 e losses??? shyt, i was at a loss....
haix.. fate. u r so damn cruel. let mi warn u: u better not go too far, or face e wrath of e 3 realms n u r DEAD. so tt's e end of my tiring, fateful, sad-case day. haix....
My thoughts of e day: I think i am a bit too childish. always hoping to get what i wanted, when i know tt i will not get it, i still dreamed n hoped for it. too 'fantasized' by my wishes and desires... i should learn to let go. sometimes i should learn to accept the truth, and not bury myself in my fantasies. haix... that's what i should improve on at the time being... more to come...
I'mma Touch the Sky!
9:14 PM
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Huh? so fast??? haix... IJC.... sian bo
whew... wednesday. imagin havin to wake up @ 7 plus, when nyjcians r now rushin to e school gate, afraid of bein lock up outside e gates, while i was jus sittin in my livin room, enjoyin my 3 slices of bread with kaya spread.. lol. 7 plus, OLK was now on his way to NY in bus 22. 24 or 135, same for kr; wil shud b now on e mrt stn lor... wc mus b wokin to e junction by now... duak ma.. i tink he shud b on e bus liao, 1r2way to NJ lor...
arrrggghhhh.... wait till 7.30.. evryone shud b goin 'mari kita...' liao i still @ home puttin on my shoes... ok, ready go! hmm.. lets c, how long will i take to go IJ from my haus? timed: 20 minutes @ most. wow man, tt's fast, of cos ma, it's jus at e corner of my estate la..! tt's e advantage of bein in IJ lor... sadly, 1 of e onli advantage lor... haix... got into e parade sq. at 7.52am, saw 'herds of students' flockin into e parade sq, n s time passed, e spped of flockin got faster, haha(dunno wad e meaning den forget it lor... based on my imagination onli ma).
after flag raisin is dunno wad war games again la. since y esterday my clan miccosukee is champion la, dunno whether can sustain tt 'achievement' zai shuo ba... sumhow i feel tt my enthu cant last any longer... i feelin very tired... mentally. physically i m still able to enjoy a bit la.. durin e game quite fun, play dunno wad game ar, i defender, formin a chain wif my clanmate(whom i dun even noe la) den hab to block all attackers holdin balloons... so lame, but i LYK. forced ourselves against enemies big n small, our hands faced e wrath of dunno how many bodies... ended up wif stiff wrists...
e game took abt .... wad?? 2r1r2 hrs?? tt's gotta abit long man.. of cos ma, split into 2 games, dakota vs micco, den walla vs black foot...wa, e game seemed so rough la, ppl gettin crashed, collisions r common, somehow hab e riot feelin u noe? as if a riot is goin on, .... chaos. anyways, doh quite a few casualties from collisions, we still hab fun la, cos of e 'ci ji gan', excitement is all tt matter. idled 4 quite a while till 11, den let off 4 lunch break. hmm.. last 2 day goin 4 sandwich, dis time go 4 'zheng can' ba, ordered rice wif mixed vege, den found an empty table(erm... a bit antisocial huh?) n eat lor.
hmm.. not bad, not bad... finish le, $4 for a lunch... quite 'worth it' huh? aiya.. wad a waste... it's goin a bit ex liao... den went to e bkshop 4 a t'shirt, XL de(now den i realise tt i m growin) den got into e canteen for my uniforms(hmm.. dunno my size, jus anyhow say a number size shirt n pants lor... if too short or too long i dunno la..), spent abt $50+++ lor... so ex... haix... den go 1 corner zhuo bo lor, idle my time away, since still gotta bita time left... now made my way to e hall 4 dunno wad CCA briefin... guess it's goin to b very very sian...
EXPECTED. durin e briefin(huh? i tot briefin is gotta b very short, dis took abt wad, 1r1r2 hrs man!!!) i tried to kip my eyes locked to e front, but failed... my eyes jus forced my head slowly, down n down, den slowly my lids started to shut my eyes... den i went zzZ... lol. not onli mi, quite a nimber r oso doin e same thing.. hahaz. all wif different postures, but most of dem r cross-fold leg, den body lyk bend forward(so s not to let ppl c ur face) den shut deir eyes, n.... off to dreamland. haha, after lunch ma, tt's y we feel sleepy...
whew. at last. after tt elongated 'briefing'(ya, rite!) by eric wong(eh? haha, he last time in cat high de, den posted here..) time to zhao for e cca fair le. hmm.. dun feel lyk joinin, but bo bian, jus IN CASE i screw up my academic, i can use my cca to back mi up. choose any cca dat can get mi very interested... ah, ODAC ba. activites seem interestin n can oso train my fitness... yi ju liang de. gogogo, choose tt CCA! .......... ........ .......... ................ .......... went to tt stall, jus put my name down, done. we hab till 3.30, n now e time is wad? 2.15. wa sei, 1r1r4 hrs to go, wad to do ar? dot dot dot... jus go canteen buy anotehr few pcks of milo for refreshment lor... somehow tt 'refreshment' doesnt seem 2 work.. felt more sleepy... head down on e canteen table, n there i go again.... zzZ...
er... my hands goin numb, feelin much uncomfort. woke up. wa, my left hand feel numb @ first, den suddenly felt as if my hand was on sth very prickly lor... ouch! pain, i shook roughly jus to ease e pain.. haha. jus go toilet wash up n refresh ba... lol, scornin at my stupidity, free tap water is much more effectif than $1.60 on 2 milo pcks in refreshin myself... shudnt hab wasted tt money.... den go outside n watch e woodgrove sec sports heats lor, since nth betta to do. thy comin over 2dae for e heats, jus idle my time away there lor. dazed... watchin, too tired to think of criticisms on deir running(1 word: slow.)... nvm la, last time i oso abt deir standard...
3.25 le. got back into e hall. watched a last round of cca fair, den went to my clan place stone lor... realli bored to tears le.. cant even c any of my og members, OGL is sittin @ e front tokin to deir frenz... feel so lonely here... finally it's e last few moments in the ORIENTAION... felt lookin 4ward to tt. everyone settle down! kept shh.... den e last few moments started. first wif e cca forms, every1 received it( of cos la, if not how to join?), look at e form dun feel lyk fillin in lor... anyway i filled in on e regristration list on ODAC booth le ma... dun care la, we hab till 28/3 to think abt it. sian, stuffed in my bag, den act s if nth happened. nxt is wad... final cheer competiiton?? wah, same s NY de, cheer cheer cheer not sian de meh? i shout bu chu de, dun feel lyk shoutin, but yi si yi si, do some mouth action can le.. haha. feelin tired, stuffy, stifling in e hall. wanna get e hell out of e place s soon s possible. den folo by e prize presentation 4 e champion clan... it's wallawalla.. expected la, deir cheer is damn loud, thy score lyk hell in all war games, bu champion thy can go 'fly kite' le. end up e clan leader havin to do pole dance... on e councillors?!?! omg... poles r gettin unstable... cant bear to c e leader enjoyin himself in front of 700+++ ppl, thy covered deir face to prevent c-ing e worst parts of e pole dance...(dunnid to say u oso noe la..). last part of e 'moment': e video abt jc. hmm.. quite humorous funny, if u r chinese, since it is in chinese version, wif eng. subtitles. i like tt.
ok la. end le.. whew... end of e O2 le. from tmr onward is study, pia A level le. go home.
time sped... 1st term over le... still cant forget 0622... at first i was abit goin to let go le, when gerald jus sms mi sayin we havin lunch 2gether @ j8 when i slpin la... wa, make mi miss 0622 again... den my first feelin was tt thy r eatin s a whole 0622 w/o mi, meanin all 18 of dem... felt left out... feelin desperate to c dem again... r thy drugs or r thy stimulants? i oso dunno. i dunwan dem to b either. i jus wan dem to by my true frenz. 4eva.
haix... my premontion told mi: NO MORE NY. chiong IJ. hab to stay in there 'dun' 2yrs le.. hope 2 c dem in uni if i can get there lor.... onli time i can tok is msn.. or choose 1 day we meet 2gether... haix.... miss you all. hope to mit up one day n hav a REALLI good chat wif ya'll.
My thought of the day: justice stands above everything, even above respect. elders may do something wrong and can even be scolded by some child if he knows that their actions are wrong. justice is classless; anybody can just use the word 'justice' to say that anyone is wrong, if they have the reason and law to support.
I'mma Touch the Sky!
10:04 PM
about me
zhiheng. aka. ahteo.
18
31/8
si ling, cat high, nanyang Jc, Innova Jc
slack, bball, com, ...
Likes
.bball!.
.chickenrice.
.my W800.
.slackin.
.alone.
Dislikes
.BithcheS.
.BackstabberS.
.BootlickerS.
.zhuainess.
.toking crap.
.fakers(like me).
Wishlist
korean n taiwan drama?
less pressure
alone outside, overnight
a more happening life than now
a more cheerful mi ;P
Leave your footsteps
I recommend
cBox
